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DAY 18 - WHERE IS MY BELOVED?

LEARN ABOUT THE CAPTIVATE JOURNAL

TO ENHANCE YOUR FAST

Versión en español haga clic aqui


INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. Read the Bible verses related to each devotion.

  2. Then follow the actions and prayers for yourself and a nonbeliever at the bottom of the page.

READ Song of Solomon 5


I was in the darkest, most painful struggle of my early adult life. I had been wronged by the few, while my actions had hurt many. During this extremely challenging season, I was given the message of the Song of Solomon by my girlfriend (and now my amazingly beautiful wife). And when I realized that God, the KING of the Universe valued me, loved me, and traveled the universe to win my heart—I was astounded.

At that season of my life, I had stopped pursuing my life goal of law school to nervously, but enthusiastically, answer the call to work as a campus minister. Honestly, this was totally unexpected on my part, but something that God made crystal clear was a path I should choose. After years of faithfully serving with a heart that was broken and a knee that was dislocated, I lost my full-time ministry position and ended up getting a job as a night watchman. At that point I had hit rock bottom.

It was in this season that I just diligently studied the Song of Solomon each night, but I could not understand anything; I just took it by faith. Every night I studied the Song of Solomon for two hours, journaled for one hour, prayed and worshipped for two hours, shoveled snow, swept, and cried. Desperately, I prayed every night, vehemently crying out, “God, if you are there, help me.” In actuality, I could not feel Him, and I had so many doubts warring in my mind. I would cry out, “Fill me with this LOVE that I am reading about because I am in pain.” I prayed this prayer, or one like it with violent, rash, desperate pleas. I begged that He would take away the empty grating pain and fill my heart with His Love.

I can’t tell you how many times I prayed. But I prayed until He answered. I prayed until the pain was gone. I prayed until I could sleep at night. I prayed until guilt and shame stopped slicing the TRUTH out of my mind. I prayed until He took me into the chamber of LOVE. And you know what, I cannot mark that day when He answered my plea, but I can say that He progressively touched my heart moment by moment. The KING of Heaven rescued me. And HE has taken me into His chamber. Why? Because He first loved me (1 John 4:19.)

Let LOVE rescue YOU. Let LOVE take you into the chamber.

Ok, let’s speed up fifteen years. And before we get into the Song of Solomon, let me tell you about another story. This is a story about me…no this is a story about Jesus, and how He rescued me. I was in a great place in my life: God had paid my bills. My wife and kids were so happy. I was super fruitful in ministry, and I was confident and in love with God. I was launching out in a new city, the beautiful city of Richmond, VA. I had joined with fiery amazing people to plant a prayer room in a dilapidated building in the midst of a strip club, bars, restaurants, and a memorial to Edgar Allen Poe.